Fun Should Be Like Dessert

This picture really got my thinking today. I know that as a college students we all like to have a good time and party. It is almost like it is expected of the age group to go through this time period of “acting out”. Now is our chance to experience everything. We are able to sleep around and not necessarily be judged for it because we are not old enough to be committed to anyone. I do wonder who made it okay to begin to act stupid in the most important point in our lives. As college students we are in school to better ourselves. We need to make the best grades possible to achieve the best careers and salaries possible. So why do some many college students feel that now is the time to act a fool and show no concern their future selves?

Although parents are partially to blame because they keep a close watch on us while we are still living at home it is a little harder to get away with “having fun”. However, there are ways to do what you want and not get caught. While I am by no means endorsing disobedient children, I am saying that parents must let children make mistakes. Parents should realize that by nature we are going to try things even though they are bad for us. It is a known fact that if I child is told no then they immediately are more intrigued as to why it is not allowed. If I were a parent I would want my child to try the questionable things under some sort of supervision so they could get it out of their system safely.

I personally never meant to “Act out” I just had fun with friends. I did however go to my share of parties as a kid. I got all of my partying out of my system while I was in high school though. I went to the clubs and I drank and had  “great times” many that I now cannot really remember. I tried cigarettes and hated it from the first puff. Even though cigarettes never intrigued me it seemed almost a waste to be old enough to buy them and then not try them. As for the drama part I was never much for drama it was too tiresome for me. I preferred to keep to myself and the few friends I could actually stand to be around. One thing that I never tried was the sleeping around. It always seemed horrible to me. Sleeping with someone holds meaning with me. It isn’t just an action that many people take very lightly. I view it as a moment that is to be shared only by those you truly care for deeply. (I won’t go any deeper into that. I will save for a different post)

The main point that I wanted to get across in this post is the fact that girls (and guys for matter) like me are the minority. When I tell people “my number” I get a sort of deer in headlights look as if they don’t believe me. It is pretty ridiculous that it seems almost impossible to meet someone whose number of sexual partners can be counted on one hand. Then later when they find out that I would rather spend the night in watching a great movie and just spending time together, instead of partying they think I’m lying. It is an insult when people automatically assume that the majority of girls smoke, drink every night, go to clubs constantly, and sleep with every guy she meets.

I can’t remember when this “type” of girl became the norm. Even so, I refuse to conform the this cultural norm. I hope that more girls will understand that being different is more intriguing and desirable than the normal “slut”. There is nothing wrong with having fun. The problem is when its no longer having fun but it is a normal everyday occurrence that is just a way of life. Fun should be like dessert not a right but a treat. Something that doesn’t happen every night therefore, when it does it is more exciting and meaningful.

So yes! Girls like me do exist! We may be few and far between at the moment but we are out there.

They Always Come Running Back..

To start of this post properly I need to explain to everyone that I am truly a skeptic at heart. I question everything. I find that there is more fraudulence in most things than truth. Not to say that I believe everything is false I just feel that the truth is hidden and we must work at finding it. I feel that too many people in the world believe something because they read it on the internet or heard it “through the grapevine”.

There was a point in my life where I felt that this “quote” was just another one of those things that people say to you to help you feel better about your break-up. Well I am living proof that this saying has some validity to it.

So here’s my story…

I was in a junior in a private high school. Yes, you just read it right a private high school eekk.. (I’ll save that explanation for another post) Well, I met this guy lets call him Thomas. He was tall, tan, and completely adorable. I think he was most attractive when he smiled which of course was rare. We went out on our first date that I actually made happen. It was quite a night! We got to know each other very well. We began our relationship that next week after our date. We shared a lot of things together. He was my prom date, junior college boyfriend. Lets face it if my name came up in a conversation Thomas’ was next up. We were that couple that everyone would always say WOW! they are still together. All though, we were not as perfect as we seemed. Toward the end of our relationship he began to show that he was not committed or interested in our relationship any longer.

Fast forward almost three years and we break up. I was heartbroken to say the least. I had begun to get to the point where I didn’t see my life without him in the picture somewhere. Looking back the break-up was one of the best things for me! Being the skeptic I am I look back in disbelief that I had been so stupid. How could I have become so dependent on someone else to complete my life? I needed to get back to MY life! Now saying that was the easiest part. I had not realized how difficult it would be to be okay without Thomas.

I cried for many nights and cried a whole lot more when he got a new girlfriend. Of course out of anger I went and found other guys to hang out with. As many of you girls know its not hard to find guys to be around however, it is extremely difficult to find guys you want to be around.  That being said I did not find anyone that I enjoyed being around more than Thomas. I found a couple of good guy “friends”, but we all know that NEVER works out. I even found a guy that I was sexually attracted to. The only problem was that he wasn’t the kind of guy that I would want to be in a relationship with.

Now I hope everyone is keeping up… Fast forward a little over a year.

Thats right I started dating Thomas at 16 and now I am 20 years old. It kills me that one guys has consumed me for such a long time.

Well, here it comes after a year and four months of not hardly speaking except for a text message here and there Thomas tells me that he misses me. Of course I tell him I miss him as well, not thinking much of it. I figured it was a platonic I miss you, but I don’t want to get back together with you. Well boy was I wrong! He wanted to get back together with me pretty badly. I of course was very skeptic of his motives. Therefore, I told him that we would need to spend some time together and see where it goes. Well of course, now I am wondering Did I make the right decision?

I fully believe that there was no right or wrong option for me. I had to go with my gut. Which let me add is one of my least favorite things to do! I like to be able to weigh the pros and cons and then make somewhat of an informed decision. I fear that the only way I am going to be able to tell if I made the right decision or not is see what happens. I need to see if he truly has changed and then decide if I want to continue with him.

So obviously, as you can see the question isn’t whether or not they will come running back. The question is when they do come back will you let them back in or not. [and that is a question only you can answer for yourself]

Feel free to comment if you would like. I am sharing this story to help those of you dealing with a heartbreak.