After reading the title you may think that this will be a post of me ranting on and on about the terrors of online dating. Well, you are wrong! Well sort of…
Oh! Where should I begin?
After my highschool/college love I was single for a VERY long time. Don’t get me wrong, I went on a few dates here and there. However, nothing long term or even consistent. My very good friend from college suggested I try online dating. I thought, why not, lets go for it.
As most have heard, online dating sites are filled with creepy guys who have quite unique ways to strike up conversations. To say that it was humorous would be selling it short. Then without knowing it, a guy that would be everything I ever wanted contacted me May 2015. The conversation was nothing special just a hello. Before responding, I viewed his profile and was physically attracted to him. However, he lived about 1000 miles away. Normally, I wouldn’t have responded to someone that far away, but let’s face it I was lonely and wanted some conversation.
We had a nice conversation that never actually ended. I’m not sure why, but we enjoyed texting each other so much that we talked consistently. How could you enjoy a texting conversation so much, so quickly? I’m not sure, but we did. To “officially” meet each other and confirm that our profile pictures were real, we decided to FaceTime. I was very nervous to meet him and wasn’t sure what I would say. I remember his initial reaction as soon as we got on FaceTime. He had such relief in his eyes. He told me he was relieved that “I looked even better than my pictures”. That’s all I remember about the conversation. What I do know is that I didn’t want to hang up the phone. Our FaceTime and texting conversations continued on. I would stay up until all hours of the night just to get to talk to him.
The feeling of excitement when you first meet someone and are getting to know them is like no other. It’s hard to explain and impossible to forget.
Our converstations continued on for months. We talked about meeting up, but with work and other responsibilities the timing never seemed to be right. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I was disappointed. Strangely enough, I was so drawn to our conversations that I didn’t care. I loved sharing my life with him even if it was virtually. If I were to actually write down a list of what I am looking for in a man, this guy had it. He fulfilled all of the things I wanted along with the things I never knew I needed.
I knew this was trouble. Love Isnt something I let myself “do” and I felt myself falling in love with a guy 1000 miles away whom I’ve never even met. I was choosing to stay home and talk to him instead of hanging out with friends.
October 2015 – he disappeared. Some may call it “ghosting”. I tried to contact him twice after I hadn’t heard from him, radio silence. That was it, I was done contacting him. I moved forward with my life, bought a house, and convinced myself that it wouldn’t have worked out with him living so far away in another state anyway. Needless to say, all the walls I have built up around my heart just got a second layer built on.
To be continued…
P.S. Don’t worry he returns.