They Always Come Running Back..

To start of this post properly I need to explain to everyone that I am truly a skeptic at heart. I question everything. I find that there is more fraudulence in most things than truth. Not to say that I believe everything is false I just feel that the truth is hidden and we must work at finding it. I feel that too many people in the world believe something because they read it on the internet or heard it “through the grapevine”.

There was a point in my life where I felt that this “quote” was just another one of those things that people say to you to help you feel better about your break-up. Well I am living proof that this saying has some validity to it.

So here’s my story…

I was in a junior in a private high school. Yes, you just read it right a private high school eekk.. (I’ll save that explanation for another post) Well, I met this guy lets call him Thomas. He was tall, tan, and completely adorable. I think he was most attractive when he smiled which of course was rare. We went out on our first date that I actually made happen. It was quite a night! We got to know each other very well. We began our relationship that next week after our date. We shared a lot of things together. He was my prom date, junior college boyfriend. Lets face it if my name came up in a conversation Thomas’ was next up. We were that couple that everyone would always say WOW! they are still together. All though, we were not as perfect as we seemed. Toward the end of our relationship he began to show that he was not committed or interested in our relationship any longer.

Fast forward almost three years and we break up. I was heartbroken to say the least. I had begun to get to the point where I didn’t see my life without him in the picture somewhere. Looking back the break-up was one of the best things for me! Being the skeptic I am I look back in disbelief that I had been so stupid. How could I have become so dependent on someone else to complete my life? I needed to get back to MY life! Now saying that was the easiest part. I had not realized how difficult it would be to be okay without Thomas.

I cried for many nights and cried a whole lot more when he got a new girlfriend. Of course out of anger I went and found other guys to hang out with. As many of you girls know its not hard to find guys to be around however, it is extremely difficult to find guys you want to be around.  That being said I did not find anyone that I enjoyed being around more than Thomas. I found a couple of good guy “friends”, but we all know that NEVER works out. I even found a guy that I was sexually attracted to. The only problem was that he wasn’t the kind of guy that I would want to be in a relationship with.

Now I hope everyone is keeping up… Fast forward a little over a year.

Thats right I started dating Thomas at 16 and now I am 20 years old. It kills me that one guys has consumed me for such a long time.

Well, here it comes after a year and four months of not hardly speaking except for a text message here and there Thomas tells me that he misses me. Of course I tell him I miss him as well, not thinking much of it. I figured it was a platonic I miss you, but I don’t want to get back together with you. Well boy was I wrong! He wanted to get back together with me pretty badly. I of course was very skeptic of his motives. Therefore, I told him that we would need to spend some time together and see where it goes. Well of course, now I am wondering Did I make the right decision?

I fully believe that there was no right or wrong option for me. I had to go with my gut. Which let me add is one of my least favorite things to do! I like to be able to weigh the pros and cons and then make somewhat of an informed decision. I fear that the only way I am going to be able to tell if I made the right decision or not is see what happens. I need to see if he truly has changed and then decide if I want to continue with him.

So obviously, as you can see the question isn’t whether or not they will come running back. The question is when they do come back will you let them back in or not. [and that is a question only you can answer for yourself]

Feel free to comment if you would like. I am sharing this story to help those of you dealing with a heartbreak.

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Baggage is Heavy

 

There are many times in my life where I find myself feeling like this woman in the picture does. (overwhelmed)

Even though I know that carrying around a lot of baggage is heavy and quite frankly extremely overwhelming I still do. And yet, I still question myself as to why that is?

I think that I have finally come to the conclusion. We all carry something with us. While, it would be easier to drop what we have we don’t. The reason is because of fear that there may be a chance we might let go too soon.

After all, isn’t that everyones biggest fear? If you have something and then you loose it….. you want to hold on so tightly in hopes that it may return. Whenever, you think that you may want to let go of this “extra” baggage you stop and think about the small chance that the second you give up your chance will come and it will be too late.

Honestly, it’s ok to want to hold onto the past especially, if it is something great. The one thing that from now on I am going to remember is if I am going to hold onto the past it must be something worth my while. When you carry something with you it takes a part of you. As long as you are ok letting something consume you then, it is worth it to keep holding on. However, really put some thought into it and don’t carry around the petty things. Only important things should be carried onward.

I for one am going to keep that in mind when worrying about things in my past.

You Have Been Warned :)

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Before I really start sharing on this blog I want to give everyone who reads it a fair warning. I am an outspoken person! I have my own ideas of what I believe to be right and wrong. I do not judge others based on their thoughts so I am asking the same courtesy of my readers. I will not purposely write anything that might offend others. However, I am not going to water down my thoughts and feelings on anything that I might write. I am writing this blog based off of my own personal experiences. If you are against women with strong minds that have a lot to say then, this blog probably isn’t for you. I feel that a blog is a very non-biased way to get your thoughts across without judgement. That is what I plan to do.

I would not consider myself like many people in the world today. I tend to agree with many social norms however, I seem to add my own extra twist to each of them. I feel that conformity is a wretched act. We were all born different for a reason therefore, we must embrace those differences and learn from each other. I do not expect everyone to agree with my thoughts, but I hope that in some way I can help you to understand that everyone has their own opinion. Maybe mine will open your eyes to more possibilities. 

Finally, I want to explain to everyone that yes I am a college student, but my major is not journalism. Therefore, I am not going to be perfect in my grammar, transitions, or other elements of writing. It takes me far too long to prepare a paper for school and I am not able to take that kind of time to prepare my blogs. 

 

I hope everyone will enjoy my blog! Feel free to follow me on this journey through college and all the other life experiences and thought provoking questions that I may come across through it all.

I’m a Difficult Female?

If there is one thing about myself that I would like to be known for it would be my strength. The idea of being a young, strong, beautiful woman is the greatest overall achievement in my mind. I am not the kind of person to keep my feelings inside of me. Even if I try my face gives me away. What can I say I am a full disclosure type of person. I know that I have flaws and one of them tends to be that I will make up an opinion of someone before I even know them. However, if they are not that type of person I realize it and will gladly change my perception of them. I feel like I have started to overcome that flaw just by simply admitting it. My purpose for this post is simply to make known that all you girls out there are not alone. We all can be bitches at times, lets face it we have a genetic disposition to be that way we can’t always help it. Besides, we have a lot in life to overcome and we can’t be sweet all the time or no one would take us seriously.

Some may feel that being a woman is a shortcoming of some short. YES! It is hard to be a woman but you know what? I wouldn’t want it any other way. Who would want to be a man? Women are the ones actually in control we just let them men think they are. I must say one of my favorite movie quotes is from My Big Fat Greek Wedding : “The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.” The quote honestly explains itself perfectly! This has got to be one of woman’s best kept secrets from men.

A great man is one who helps a woman because he knows that a good woman is fragile. We can do almost everything a man can do, but that doesn’t mean we should have too. A man is our protector women have a lot of responsibilities as it is and we should not have to carry all the weight on our shoulders. Which is why I fully believe that beside (not behind or ahead) every great woman is a wonderful man sharing the weight of the world. So while all you females are out conquering the world remember you shouldn’t have to do it alone! Don’t be afraid to let someone in your life to help you along the way. However, do not let the bad stigma attached to being a female define you. You are strong yet very fragile which is what makes being a women so beautiful. We are difficult and mysteriously confusing. Embrace your gifts!

My First Post

Normally I tend to be a very private person. I have not thought that any of my thoughts were necessarily worth sharing with others or that anyone may be interested in what I have to say. With that said this blog is going to be full of my thoughts and life experiences. I hope you enjoy and can find my words interesting. My goal is that my thoughts have an impact on others in a positive way somehow. Please feel free to comment and let me know what you think.

Well here it goes………..

I am a college student who recently moved out on my own. It has been a very interesting experience to say the least. At first I was very scared and nervous, but after it was all said and done I absolutely loved it! It is a liberating feeling knowing that you can do whatever you like and no one is there to ask you what time you will be home or if they think you should go. I have not come from a family that was super strict but more protective than anything. I by no means feel like I had the best childhood, but either way for better or worse it shaped me into the adult that I am now. Wow! its so weird to be able to call myself an adult.
I am 20 years old at the moment however I have a birthday coming in about 6 months, the big 21! That will be an exciting milestone in my life that I have been looking forward to since I was about 15. Although the more I think about it the more I realize that once you turn 21 thats it. What else is an exciting milestone birthday after you turn 21? I can’t really think of one which is somewhat depressing within the last few months I have really realized how much I have aged and matured over the years. Its one thing to look at the pictures and see how you have changed physically, but it is especially liberating to realize how much you have grown on the inside as well.

I personally feel like the best is yet to come for me. Even though I will always look back at my childhood years and smile that is not where I would rather be. Of course being a child seems easy because you don’t have any real responsibilities, but it was a very trying time for me. I am happy to be at the point in my life where I now have complete control over what I achieve.

I look forward to the journey through adulthood and all of the experiences that will come with it!